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End The DistanceThe late night is the worst,
When the house is silent
and everyone has gone to bed
I lie awake
Imagining the curve of your lips,
Or the feel of your skin against mine,
When the empty space
next to me,
Seems to extend
for thousands of miles,
I hate those miles,
In the night,
In the dark,
When I’m all alone,
And I’ve only got memories
to carry me through,
To the next day,
Or the next string of days
that seem to last forever,
but they finally end
With me lying in bed,
Next to you.
Just...YouWhen I say "I miss you" it isn't just words,
Not characters on a blinking screen,
Not shallow motives sent through text,
Shimmering and breaking through invisible spaces,
Navigated by cell phones and computers,
I miss you,
Every second of every day,
Through dreams and daydreams alike,
I suffer everyday,
Suffer from a lack
A lack of you,
Being close enough
Close enough to touch,
I just want to be close to you,
Just come be close to me.
When I say "I miss you" they aren't just words,
A shivering shudder runs through my soul,
Consistently brushing my heart,
Which chases shadows away
With the thought of your presence,
It's an overflowing emptiness,
Having you so far away,
But still it feels the same
when you fill the fractures in me,
Equal bits of completion
Complete the empty void,
Void which is constantly in fluxm,
I just wish you were here.
You complete me
Distance.I wish that when you hugged pillows
they acted like teleportation devices,
And when you clutched yours
It would put me beside you,
I wish my blankets
Were like magic carpets,
And we could use ours
To fly to one another,
I can show you the world,
I wish our computer screens
Would let us reach to one another,
Then I could pull you through
straight into my arms,
I wish we could feel each other
When we clutch pillows and blankets,
And pretend they're each other
So our dreams can somewhat come true,
I can't love you this much baby, and love you from this far.
Happy?When in our eyes
The heavens fall,
falling, falling, falling,
down, falling down,
And shredded clouds softly float,
Like frozen snowflakes to the ground,
colorless cotton candy, cold,
Our sorrows litter these dismal streets,
Like crumbled newspapers filled with yesterday's news,
thrown aside, forgotten 'til another day,
Black and white will not show the red that I bleed,
My scars aren't for you to see,
I will tear my paper heart into tiny pieces,
And dance in the confetti of my despair,
If only you were here,
maybe I wouldn't feel so alone,
I close my eyes and imagine you standing there,
I clamp my fingers around yours,
but when my eyes open, there's just empty space,
and my hand is cold,
frozen like the snowflakes on the ground,
Shivering, I wrap my arms around myself,
pretending you're here
I don't even know what your voice sounds like,
but you make me happy,
I wish knew how to show you I care about you,
that you make me happy,
I want to make you
BetterThe rain streaks past her haunted eyes,
Sliding quickly down the panes of glass,
leaving blurry streaks in her vision,
Mimicking tears sliding down her cheeks,
The thunder growls fiercely overhead,
Echoing the anger and pain in her heart,
Which battles to keep the loneliness at bay,
It wasn't supposed to end like this,
Her eyes flash like lightning in the clouds,
When she hears the phone vibrate on her desk,
An unnatural sound breaking through the storm,
she picks it up, new tears falling like rain,
He tells her goodbye for the last time,
answering, she pleads for him to let he back in,
Into his heart, and into his home once again,
but it's already over,
She begs and pleads, asks for forgiveness,
But his heart won’t forgive her hurtful words,
her spontaneous, selfish actions,
The mind that caused the rift between two souls,
The thunder growls again, and she throws her phone,
It's thud blending in with the thunder,
Going back to her window, holding herself tight,
Watching, but not
Dreams the moon is full.
It shines brightly for two people whose hearts beat as one,
they sleep and dream of each other.
In my life this is what happens between you and me even if we're worlds apart,
When I look up at the moon I see your smile,
When the night winds blows I hear you whisper my name,
When I close my eyes I can feel your arms around me,
hugging me close, enveloping me like the ocean waves,
In my dreams I feel you hold me close,
I wish that I was right there next to you,
I gaze up at the stars with my eyes full of wonder,
curious as to what star you are under,
there isn't one night I don't wish I was with you,
Although I'm terrible at explaining my feelings,
to you I can't deny the unbending feelings I have for you,
We are the same in almost every way,
I have the urge to be by your side forever,
Can you hear the song of the night creatures singing their lullaby for us?
The moon shines on the both of us even though we're miles apart,
but if I close my
Boy By the SeaOh beautiful boy by the sea,
why aren't you here next to me?
The waves are calling my name,
And nothing feels the same,
except the feel of missing the sandy shore,
There must be something more,
if I am the sickness, you are the cure.
Oh beautiful boy by the sea
Why do I long for you so?
for it's you I hardly know,
When will you appear, oh beautiful boy of mine?
Perhaps today, or maybe when the sun refuses to shine?
I'm not even sure why I feel this way,
but if you come, please just stay,
Oh beautiful boy by the sea.
I want you here by my side,
but my soft words are taken by the tide,
My eyes are closed and I am lost,
I'd do anything to escape, no matter the cost,
The ocean is my home, you are my shelter.
Oh beautiful boy by the sea.
Draw With MeIt's a shame we don't communicate much,
and that you're so very, very far away,
perhaps in time that won't be so true,
I can always hope, always dream,
but for now I'm left to wonder,
These thoughts are strange, even foreign to me,
as I don't usually feel much for people,
when I do it doesn't last long
they usually fade with the wind
you seem to be the only exception,
I wonder what you really think of this,
how do you feel about everything,
you leave me alone in the dark,
I ponder things quietly, silently,
and it's really been a while since I felt this way,
This is actually quite unlike myself,
feeling isn't something I really do,
yet I keep finding you on my mind,
Everyday, and every night in my dreams,
all wrapped up in my sappy thoughts,
Given enough time maybe we'll connect,
In a way I've never connected before,
I'm hoping that it's sooner than later,
I don't think this feeling is going away,
We have so much more to share,
Still AloneI'm alone once again, not by choice,
never by choice
It's just that my company always eludes me,
I sit at my screen, typing away again,
my virtual reality I live in
with only a chilled drink for my friend,
I've stood alone in many crowded rooms,
thinking it would be okay
never understanding the why or what for,
I only know that at the end of the night,
the wee hours of the morning
I return to a cold, lonely, unmade bed,
They say I will heal and find happiness,
I don't even know why I hurt
but how can they say that and not know me?
I long for what I cannot have, but why?
A dreamer dies alone.
I guess that's because I'm human and alone,
I'm alone once again, not by choice,
I guess I'll always be this way
I see myself crumbling, feel the pain,
that comes with inescapable loneliness,
My words reach deaf ears
I close my eyes, and open them,
24 not-poems later1.
it is so hard to be okay
when all i've got are cigarettes
the voices of strangers
and memories of you
it's so hard to be okay
when you hate yourself
for not being okay
all i want is to hear you say
that you love me
so that for five seconds,
i can believe it;
just a few moments
of being alright
i wonder what you would do
with the letters i have written
but never given you
with the truth that i have known
but never told
if i swim
until my arms could no longer
hold me up - you wouldn't
even have a body to say goodbye to
i wonder what you would do
if i wrote right here
that it was you
i wonder what you would think about
and what we have done; the love
that we have destroyed
with our cowardice and our weakness
like a windowsill plant
left out in summer
i wonder what you would think
if the last thing i tol you
was that i loved you
god damn you kissed me hard
when you left
as if you knew it would be the last time
what if it was
the last time
you would never have to catch another moth for m
PerdicionTe conocí en invierno, las calles cubiertas de nieve, el frió carcomía nuestras pieles,
tu piel pálida y congelada, intentado calentar tus manos.
Ese día, aquel donde sentí un fuerte impulso de hablarte en cuanto te vi, sentado en la banca del parque moviendo tus piernas para entrar en calor, solo guiada por un impulso
me acerque a ti, te di mi bufanda y gantes, luego solo me fui.... sin preguntarte
tu nombre, ni de donde eras, ni que hacías, solo me fui.
Días pasaron, y no te volví a ver, creí que solo fue coincidencia el haberte encontrado para evitar que murieras congelado, pero increíblemente nos reencontramos en mi cafetería favorita, te distinguí de inmediato por que traías puesta mi bufanda y guantes..... aun recuerdo tu rostro confundido ... como si buscases a alguien.
Recuerdo tu rostro iluminarse cuando giraste en mi dirección. Me dijiste que mi bufanda tenia olor a
I Love You.
Oh, gorgeous goddess!
How your beauty tantalizes me!
Leaving a dumb statue
In my place.
How can You,
O Great and Majestic One,
Sitting on your golden throne,
In the sky,
Have created such a girl
As the one I see
Oh how my heart flutters!
Sweet angel, you gave
Wings to my
You blessed a poor soul,
With that wonderful magic
Only you possess.
I will give
I will cross the world for you,
I will serve you,
I will think only of you,
I will do anything for you!
If only I can
Hold your delicate hand,
Skin so smooth,
Soft as silk,
And be with you,
Every step of your way,
To comfort you
In your sorrows,
he's got a girlfriend anywaywe both know
that it's hard to write about
it's taken me seven months to start
while you slept, i burnt your crimson sheets
and painted your ceiling purple
part of me thought you might understand
i was trying to show you how i felt
i was being brave
it was how i wanted to tell you
but i was destroying more than i created
(just spread your love
set fire to the storms)
i tried to tell you
but i was tied to tracks
and it's too close for the train to miss me when it stops
if there is still a chance
you might need me
you will find me where we fell in love
sitting under cherry dark skies
with shaking fingers crossed
and blood stained lips locked
you jump i jumpit shouldn't be a crime to want to die
but when it comes to you
i'm so fucking glad it is
A State of Consistent Emptiness“Are you feeling better now?”
I feel I have to lie somehow
But instead truth comes spilling out
Before I cork my mouth
With a never mind,
Save it for another time
When I am open to sharing
I know that it will come someday
A point of self-reflection
And everything so huge
Will get smaller, easier, and less dramatic
But for now I swoon over you in the dead of night
Assisted by the bloodied objects of my plight
And I wonder when that day will come
When there is something I set my sights on
And strive to be it
Floating, falling dangerously
Like a dandelion above water
And like a small child you are the only one
Who actually wants me in their lawn
Who might actually miss me when I’m gone
And sometimes I want to strangle myself
Just to see if I’m worth saving
But still I ignore and consent to drown
I’m better off when I cannot breathe
More in touch when I cannot see
And so I bite your hand away
With my last breath
And then I sink into the abyss
All of my regrets
The girl he loves...
The girl he loves is not perfection.
But the girl he loves doesn't have much depression.
The girl he loves is too talkative.
The girl he loves is crazy and wild.
The girl he loves is much much expressive.
The girl he loves can be over-obsessive.
The girl he loves is pretty but she denies it.
The girl he loves is always laughing and smiling.
The girl he loves can't rhyme or rap.
But the girl he loves is me.
And that's a fact.
I Promise to Love YouSunshine blinds the smirking boy
He stands with open arms
Waiting for the blushing girl to come and make him warm
She stares down at her dirty white shoes
Breathing the clean, cool, mint air
Quietly dreaming and biting her lip
She runs her fingers through her hair
He treads across the gravel sea
She moves herself to where he'll be
And just the way the fates decreed
Love is wakened from her sleep
Two hearts beating, side by side
One is yours, the other mine
I promise to love you faithfully
And be yours 'til the end of time.
FreedThis life has felt sabotaged;
Obliterated; destroyed –
I’ve thought about what’s to come
For the remaining portion,
And dream to keep dreaming.
But ho~! I have found Freedom
In the eyes of Hope.
I feel spoilt with
Joy and redemption –
A conflagration of content.
Despite the things I realise,
Dropping me down lower,
You keep me above the line –
You keep the sanity in,
And the insanity at bay.
I just hope that
One day –
Many days –
I can return
Rain FireI stood outside in the rain today. I know it sounds cliché, but the steady drumming of raindrops drowned out the beat of my heart.
I've never felt as complete as I did then.
Let's just pretend that I didn't break your heart. I'll bandage my bleeding knuckles and go find that fake smile I wear so well.
I won't be lonely. We'll pretend I'm happy standing outside in the wet; these are raindrops, not tears. I'll give you every excuse I have to offer, and someday when the rain clouds disappear I'll realize that I'm just talking to the sky.
I've run out of words, you know. I can feel it.
When it started raining last night I burned all of my poetry books. Page by page. I can only remember one line:
"I know just how it feels
to think of the right thing to say too late."
When I think of the right words, I'll write them down. And leave them for someone to set on fire.
PetalsThe grass tickled between her toes as her father toiled away with the roses by the letterbox. She watched his fingers weave between the thorns to pat the soil around each bush, humming to some John Lennon song she couldn't put a name to. Despite the sun just tipping the horizon, she saw sweat prickling his brow and his eyes squinting against the light. The fine lines on his face were suddenly accentuated by shadow, and for a moment, she swelled with wonder.
'Maria, come here,' he said, waving her over. 'You're not going to learn anything sitting all the way over there.'
Excitement sparked her limbs into motion, and she crawled over to sit next to him, careful to tuck her skirt beneath her thighs to avoid the dirt.
He picked up a pair of clippers from beside him. 'Now, you need to snipe back these diseased parts here and there from the base of the plant. It helps it grow better.'
Snipping off two pieces of wood with ease, he deposited them in Maria's outstretched hand. Their rough textu
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